I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
