I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
