we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
