Three words: puerto rican gang bang
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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