I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Panties = found
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
