there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
