Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
