I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
