It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
