If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
