are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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