Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
