We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
