So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
