I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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