If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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