So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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