is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
