She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
