if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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