they need to just BURY HIM!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
