Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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