Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
