Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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