Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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