I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
