I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
