God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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