He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
