IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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