just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I think people are normalizing furries
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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