Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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