do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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