We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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