Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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