My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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