Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We left the knife in your bed.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
