He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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