I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
