Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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