well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
