So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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