If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
