she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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