Nicole vs. Life
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
