That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
