She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
