I think scott just propositioned me for sex
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Need sex. Gaining weight.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
