the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
