laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
